He strikes the flippin’ mother lode! At least that’s what happened to private investigator Derrick Roach at the National City (San Diego) ACORN office. Yep, Roach scored big-time on the cockroaches of ACORN when he staked out their San Diego workplace.

According to señor Roach via BigGovernment.com, after the release of the San Diego ACORN sting videos—which my daughter Hannah, James O’Keefe, and Andrew Breitbart dropped on the Nation’s head—and following Governor Schwarzenegger’s call for a probe into this batty zoo, Roach took it upon himself to get busy and see if he could ferret out more funky filth from this nefarious gang.

And, as stated, Roach scored more than Dwayne Wade would playing hoops against blind five-year-old, one-legged narcoleptic midgets.

What did Papa Roach come across? Well, my children, it was stuff like …

The timing of this 20k plus page paper plunk of sensitive and incriminating 411 is kinda interesting as well. Check it out:

I would now like to address you, Mr. Roach. Good job, old chap! As Hannah Giles’ father and one who has been on the receiving end of the ACORN/Mange Stream Media stick, please take my advice and brace for the vilifying crunch from these numb nuts.

They’re are going to hit you with retarded stuff like …

ACORN, naturally, is going into full damsel in distress mode, stating it was an accident and a coincidence that it occurred right before Brown and his boys were to perform their investigative colonoscopy into ACORN’s corrupt underbelly.

ACORN also blathered that Roach stole their trash. Stole your trash? Hey ACORN, once you place your clients’ sensitive info and your political playbook into le garbage it is public domain. Every hooker running a whorehouse with underage sex slaves knows that.

Lastly, will the little darlings on the left report this? Will Eric Holder call for a brutal investigation into the ACORNucopia of corruption of which BigGov and some citizen soldiers have uncovered? Garsh … who knows! I guess we poor little serf’s of Obamaland will just have to wait and see.

When the initial news reports started pouring out of Fort Hood about the mass murder (read terrorist attack) of some of America’s finest, I turned to my wife and daughter and without hesitation said, “I’ll bet you a hundred bucks it was a Muslim.” I was spot on. But shame on me for thinking such a thing, right? (Yeah, those of us who immediately thought that the murderer, given the circumstances, had to be a Muslim, we’re the bad guys.)

Yep, a Religion of Peace adherent, Maj. Nidal Malik Hasan, as you well know by now, opened fire as he screamed “Allahu Akbar!” on a room full of unarmed soldiers, killing 13 and wounding 30. Unarmed soldiers. Wow. What a wussy. What a “mighty warrior” for Allah, eh? Unarmed soldiers. I say it’s high time to begin carrying on base because, obviously, such d-bags cannot read that military bases are to be gun free zones.

Also obvious now is the fact that political correctness has run so amok that a jackass jihadist in our armed forces can spew his anti-American babble, blog about killing us, set red flags off all over the psychological place, and no one holds him down and scrapes his frontal lobe with a cement trowel. Once again, going PC gets people killed. To heck with being PC with people who want us dead; our playing the nice guy with this goon’s right to be a murderous idiot got our beloved soldiers butchered.

Allow me to go back to these little Saladins and their normative murderous targets, por favor. Who are the regular marks for the mighty jihadists? Let’s see … unarmed soldiers, people eating calzones at a Pizza Hut, buses full of little school children, and people flying coach to grandmother’s house. Pathetic. Truly ignoble and pathetic. It seems as if going head-to-head with an American badass is just too, too much for these jihadist jackanapes.

Hey Nidal, if you can hear me over the noise your ventilator is making, your little stunt puts you in the same category with Cho Seung-Hui. And, at least for me and millions of others I think I can speak for, it’s a shame you cannot be with him right now sharing a brimstone milkshake on Dante’s seventh concentric circle.

As I predicted the religion of the terrorist who struck our military base in central Texas before his beliefs were exposed, I will now gaze into my crystal ball and tell you how things will unfold in the days to come if Hasan the Pathetic lives. Are you ready? Here it goes …

Somehow America and our values will get blamed for Hasan going postal. And you just know before it’s all said and done George W. Bush will have this pinned on him. Or maybe Malik had low blood sugar and was lactose intolerant or something …

Guns will be vilified instead of this Muslim terrorist who wielded them on our unarmed troops.

Our troops will have to go through vigorous sensitivity training and become adept at how to kiss some crazy killer’s butt who hates the USA because God forbid we offend them by honoring our flag and that for which it stands.

And lastly, if this oxygen thief lives, you just know that when his trial commences we’re all going to hear about how mean we are; we’ll see him pampered more in jail than our soldiers are at their bases or abroad; and then Hollywood will probably give him his own reality show.

Hey, armed services brass: If you’re taking suggestions about how to avoid another terrorist attack on our military bases, I suggest that you enact an ASK & TELL policy regarding who in our glorious troops holds to the same fetid BS that Nidal does. Yep, we need to know—and PDQ—who in our forces embraces the jacked-up Jihadist ideas that this Muslim moron does and then purge their traitorous backsides from our beloved ranks.

Finally, my family and I would like to offer our heartfelt prayers and condolences to the families of the slain and those who were wounded by this weed.

Larry David joined the ranks of the rank this week when he whizzed on an image of Jesus Christ on his unfunny HBO show. I think this one will come back to bite you, LD.

Yep, Larry, you should have indeed curbed your enthusiasm when you were contemplating POing Protestants and Catholics who watch HBO and buy your Seinfeld DVDs.

FYI to ludicrous Larry: We “goofy” religious folks who number in the millions in the flyovers take our God seriously and don’t take a shinin’ to tools like you urinating on that which reps our Savior. Heck, we don’t even take kindly to people like Ozzy Osbourne peeing on the Alamo.

I would venture to guess that just as San Antonio banned Ozzy from entering their city until he repented nine years after the fact, you might find Christians in America shunning you and your Seinfeld products like they would a ski parka during a sweaty south Florida summer.

At least Ozzy had some semblance of an excuse in that he was a blithering, tormented, drunk, drug-infested idiot at the time. What’s your defense?

What David did this week is up there with what “Kramer” did at that L.A. comedy club when he went loopy with his racist rant. I wonder if the Rev. Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton are going to get as indignant with David as they did with Richards, seeing that Larry whizzed on the God they worship. Hmmm. We shall see.

Hey, church, how do you feel about David deriding an image of Christ in the most despicable manner? I have many Jewish friends here in Miami and across the nation who now think of David as a weapons grade dipstick for doing this.

Wassup, Larry? We don’t see you doing such things to a picture of Moses, or the 10 Commandments, or a Star of David, or … or … Islam. I wonder why, Mr. Unfunny Man. I’ll tell you why you don’t turn your urethra on them: It’s because you’d have hell to pay. So, instead you turn to Hollywood’s whippin’ post, i.e. Christ and Christians.

So why did Larry go out of his way with malice of forethought to tick off millions of Christians? Who knows? Maybe he’s an unimaginative copycat fan of Andres Serrano. That’s a real possibility. Hey, I have an idea for the next Curb episode: Howzabout for your subsequent stunt, Mr. David, you imitate Robert Mapplethorpe’s artwork and jam a bullwhip up your tailpipe, huh?

If turnabout is fair play, I say we start making Larry David jokes such as: “How does Larry David run his fingers through his hair? He cuts the front pockets out of his jeans.”

I don’t know about you, church, but I’m getting really tired of these la-di-da Hollywood wonks waling on what we believe. Like really, really tired. And I advise that we hit them where it hurts … in their pocketbooks—effective immediately.

Finally, Larry, I hope you enjoyed the limelight and saved your money. And I sure hope that Jesus thinks you’re hilarious because if He doesn’t, it might get weird for you.