It dawned on me during the NY 23rd Congressional race, an election which normally would have gone unnoticed by most of us. What began with a relatively benign election on a national scale increasingly became a seminal line in the sand for me, and many other conservatives. As the campaign ran its course, it became difficult to distinguish between the SEIU backed Democratic Owens and the ACORN backed Republican Scozzafava. As Glenn Beck often describes this match up, it was a choice between progressive and progressive-lite; and in this case, I couldn’t distinguish which was which.

I recall being somewhat confused, then angry when Newt Gingrich came out in staunch support of the Republican candidate in the race – liberal track record notwithstanding – and was unflinching in his opposition to the only obvious conservative in the race, Hoffman. Clarity set in when those conservatives with whom I most align myself philosophically, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Michelle Malkin and Glenn Beck came out publicly supporting Hoffman, or at least pointing out the clear drastic difference between he and the other two “establishment” candidates. The unknown, unassuming and unlikely candidate, Hoffman, who had no other option but to run as an independent, became the catalyst for my epiphany: I am a RINO.

I am convinced that this race illuminated the growing ever deeper and wider chasm between the direction of traditional republicans and true conservatives; the old versus the new, the establishment versus the reborn. Newt’s unabashedly support of Scozzafava was for me, the straw that finally broke this RINO’s back.

Please do not misinterpret this stand as my advocacy for a third party, but I also do not dismiss that possibility out of hand. I have yet to determine for myself if this newly confirmed political awareness is best served in the battle to retake my party, or by joining a new movement altogether. Crazy? These are crazy times as almost anyone with eyes and ears is forced to acknowledge. But, these are also historic times in which we live; and historic events are afoot, good, bad or some combination.

Before you place me among the ranks of the fickle: the soldier who was too timid or frightened or cowardly to “hold the line,” know that I have always described myself politically as a patriot first, a conservative next, and a republican third. This new mindset for me is not so much a change, but confirmation of that awful feeling in the pit of my stomach that who I am, what I believe and what I want for my country and my children is not being represented much less driven by the party with which I have always aligned myself.

I don’t expect this simple column to change many hearts or minds, but as with much of my writing, the intent is not necessarily to do so, but to confirm and solidify my own beliefs; yes, writing is in fact therapeutic. I’ve always been a bit of the rebel’s rebel. I come from a generations-long family of democratic voters; heck, I’m Hispanic, what else are we supposed to do. I was the first person in my family to vote (at least openly) republican, with my first ever vote proudly cast for Ronald Reagan. If you don’t think that’s rebellious, you’ve obviously never been to a Gonzales family reunion and loitered within earshot of the verbal scourging I would receive for betraying my family and my race for not “holding the line.” In this case I think it was, “firma del soporte, hermano.”

Which political party do I belong to? I am a republican. But I am not happy, nor am I willing to compromise my standing as a patriot first and a conservative second. I hope and pray that the RNC will not make a tent so big, that the supports can longer bear the weight.

A column by John Gonzales

Today, congressional Democrats met behind closed doors to decide what costume to wear for Halloween. Then…they locked the doors. Spooky. Perhaps they were concerned that a reporter from Fox News, or a 20-something year-old collegiate reporter in Pimp garb would show up and shine light on the darkly lit sausage-making process occurring within.

A massive new entitlement program is being forged, packaged and dressed-up in the traditional guise of the season, and you can bet that when it arrives on our front door, Healthcare Reform will look totally different from the frightening reality hidden beneath its cheap plastic mask. In all probability, it will look remarkably cute and benign, like a girl scout peddling thin mints; intoxicatingly delicious thin mints. Mmm, mmm, good. The distasteful reality is that this “reform” bill, while attractive and seemingly benign, but for a few calories (see here billions of dollars), will be the catalyst for the most intrusive and expensive threat to liberty in our nation’s history; and I am truly scared.

Lest you consider this the mere musings of a paranoid patriot, listen to the words of this very administration and its staunchest high-profile promoters. It takes mere seconds to pull up audio and transcripts of HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius, Representative Barney Frank (D-Mass), Eric Massa (D-NY), Speaker of House Nancy Pelosi and President Obama, all on record advocating and/or declaring themselves “proponents” of a single payer health insurance system. The public option is simply the thin mint “treat” that will open the door wide for one of the most malevolent tricks ever to be played on the American people.

But a recently unearthed video of liberal columnist and author Paul Krugman, speaking on June 18th, 2009 in New Jersey, may provide us with the most revealing camera angle in this all-too-real horror movie. In it, Mr. Krugman discusses the conventional liberal political strategy being employed today, and unabashedly describes how initial healthcare reform will beget a public option and the public option will beget a single payer system. It’s all part of the devilishly clever plan. Was that the doorbell? I think I just heard the doorbell.

Even neophyte businessmen and women understand that once a public option exists, the exodus from private pay insurance plans is inevitable. All but the most red-blooded of conservative business owners will be enticed by the cost savings afforded by a public option, and the resulting bottom line benefit. The rest will succumb to the new spate of taxes proposed to pay for this plan, which target employers and employees alike, who selfishly insist on keeping their highfalutin private insurance. Oh, that was the doorbell, I’ll get it.

Be assured that the initial bill arriving on our porch in the coming weeks will be masked to present positive reforms to the healthcare system that most right-thinking Americans believe are warranted. It will also be cloaked in the cape of compassion, providing needed coverage to the some of our brothers and sisters who truly need it; and while that number is not legitimately 40, 30 or even 20 million people, but more like 15, Americans are generous, sympathetic and compassionate. We will be compelled by our very DNA to accept the reforms as presented, and the Democrats know this; they’re counting on it. But know that this reform will be the proverbial camel’s nose peering underneath our tent. It is only the first step on the creaky stairwell, leading down to the monster in the basement. Be afraid. Be very afraid, lest we all wind up as the stereotypical hapless and ignorant victim that makes a cameo in every modern day horror movie. Being unaware of the looming danger lurking beneath the mask is a position I refuse to be in, for myself, my family and my country.

This season, when you open the door, beware of socialists in patriotic costumes.